匿名的宝贝！

我思念在你眼中那一片海水,
有一种让我心痛得泪,
于是我选着我自己孤单的睡,
下半辈子让我不相性的理由,
我想是你对不对?

你是个匿名的宝贝，
藏在我心里得眼泪，
不管你带走甚么，
我都因为爱过你觉得美，
永远不忘记你的我，
像一个孤魂和野鬼，
在这个世界上受苦，
风吹雨打，
我都无所谓。

你是个匿名的宝贝，
藏在我心你飞呀飞，
如果能有哪一天，
请你回头看我一眼醒了没，
不必安慰我，
你知道我不累
爱你又怎么会累。

在一次再在雨中看着天黑,
我觉得我在人海你潜水,
带你的名字飞往东南西北,
我要让这个地球上除了我再也没有人能知到你是谁,你又是我的谁!

匿名的宝贝,是你是你,爱你我不会累.

-Untitled-

Oh, finally finished my HELP IDOL event. I miss the fun, i miss the challange, miss the process runnig things and solving problems. Why do humans always look back. Why they complained while doing it but say something like, i miss this and that after all. Well, i know, and i think you know too because we are humans that will never appreicate things in front of us.

3.18.2005 will be one of the special day for me also. Nay, i dont know what to type, not because i got nothing to say, but my brain is full of infor, and full of things, but yet, i cant write them and post them up. BUt it will be a different way round if i know how to type mandrin words by using this computer.

So the next big event will be the RED CARPET on 7th April. Well, just that i need to sell some tickets. I am not really into this because i dont find it interesting, not challeneg enough because its not the thing i want, i dun like the wy that my upper head handle things, yeah, because his way will never be mine, i will never fancy and favor them because i dont like it. yup, he can be a good freind but not a excellent one because i dont like his thinking.

Wah, 2 more assignments to go, this comming one will be susah because i got no idea what the lecturer wants, i got no outline for it, i got no structure either. So how can you build a house like that, i am not like some Director can put a film up without using and scripts. I cant. And the Buyer Behaviour will be easy becasue someone photostated the assingment when the lecturer went to have his lunch, LOL, its fun enough thou. Anwyay, no contents will be copy, just that we need an idea from it.

So my flashes...gosh, I WANT YOU. I feel like ravaging you, explore you totally, but what i need now, is time.

Car Racing!

Ok, i raced with 5 cars including me. I am sure the road users din see these kinda racing b4. Its actually kinda dangerous because they were cars all around.

I am not intot he racing actually untill a proton pick on me, he drove very near to me. and there were the other 2 cars at his back. So, for the fun sake, i press the paddle and raced with them. We were cutting around(fuiyoh, damn dangerous, its kinda scary when i think back). And the perdanain front of me saw me following to closel , he decided to join the race as well, but too bad, it only last for 1-2 kilometers becasue theres a lot of cars on the raod. Its not fun enough, the adrenaline rush is not that high either. And i pull myself out because.......too many cars on the raod.

Well, its kinda relieve because it actually did help to reduce stress. But i know tis not good because it will affect people and a negligence will be chnage on me if something really happeend.

Could it be you?

How do i describe the undescribable feelings to you?
I will try to explain my feelings that are true
Thinking by myself, how can i bring my heart to you

Thousand of words that canot be describe,
All of the words in all of my life that could never be explain and could never be define,
All the love for you that i cant hide.

In your presence, i will forever choose to live
As my heart ls flickering
I will choose a little pain to gain a whole life with joy

If only these were true
Then i would fall in love with you,
Are you the special girl?
I am looking for one,
Are you the special girl?
Could it be you?

I can do something stupid,
in front of everyone,
writting stupid things,
But, it wouldnt mean a thing
Untill i find that special girl.
Could it be you?

When i will find the special one.

I dont know why some people just love to spread secrets that someone told the other guy. Weird and the guy sure go and share them with someone else and in the end, all know. Whats wrong, he go and tell you and you just keep it with yourself la, he knows that you can give good suggestions and all but still?

Seriously, its hard to trust someone nowadays when you trust him but telling him things and he go and tell someone. What the heck! Okok, sounded childish.

Aiks.....got to cathc up now. Kinda lagging.

Oh Yeah!!!

Darn it, i joined HELP IDOL and BIZ because i wan tto meet more people and have fun, of ocurse, not to forget learn how to organized things more effectively and more efficiently. But all the things happend were against my will. Darn it, whats the point for me to join then. Well, i dun care anymore, i will just gao dim the things that i am responsible with. That all and onece for all, all for once.

Thats Life

Well, still working on HELP IDOL but i am kinda sick of it because of uncertainty. Plans keep on chnaging and its freaking him out. Well, of course, the wise yong jia still can bared with all the thing, just that he fell that the organiser, the top people, did not respect him.

He planned for things edi, but, why people want to change them, giving last minutes job, well, he can, but his team members cant? and he will be the one saying, okok, bare with it, okok, do it, okok....bal bal bla. In the end, some people will even lose the respect.

And he was asked to sell tickets....damn, he hate the job actually, bugging people to buy tickets....because of the help idol thing, just for 10 bucks and he is bugging people. So, how people will response next time when they see him, once he open his mouth, the people will said, okok, dun offer me anything. This is what i hate because thats exactly the same thing that he give responses to soemtimes.....what the heck man.

And the adviser told the head, no you got to bare with the cost if you cannot sell, Rm 400 you need to pay her. Thats what he heard when the top and his head was discussing and its so annoying when your adviser told you that, imagine, the whole logistic div is helping out for the sales, but you were being told this.

damn, come on. Anyway, he feel great because the teams are still willing to coordinate.

Chinese New Year

Ahh, i just cant wait for it. damn, since when i like CNY that much? since i am young la. Why, because i can get a lot of red packets from relatives, and some dad's friends.

I want to balik kampung, i want to see al the people that i want to see, i want to gamble, chor di, then i want to go back to K.L again to visit my grandma, just cant wait, 1 week holiday for CNY is just toooooooooooooo short.

Wish everyone that read this. Happy Chinese New YEar.

More then 7 cans of beer and 3 shots of vodka.

Ok, freddy's farewell party, not a bad one thought and its fun i think , at least for me, met up with some old ADP mates, like Jeremy, Justin, Freddy, Stephen, Jerry etc etc. I dranks a lot of beers and 3 shots of vodka and i am feeling the effects now, like gonna headache soon...

Dizzy, sleepy, but dun feel like bathing is want i am think g of, ahhh....anyway, i will end here cause i think its the end of my day.

Tell the Truth

See, there are couples that always ask their mates to tell the truth, so that they will know what their partners are thinking of. Yes, i agree on that too. But how do you define the truth, he or she tells you everything? Or selectively? Just picking the points or facts that he or she needs to know is more then enough.

Well, i do think the first one sounds correct, but adding the second would be the best for me. I always thought telling the whole truth was the best thing because you don't have to lie. But things sometimes dont go that way, because if you tell the truth exactly, it might hurts somebody, or you might need to bare with some of the uncertainties somewhere out there. Unless, he or she asked for it.

So my point for today's topic is, Tell the truth, but selectively. Don't shout out the situation or things that you know, unless he or she asked for it.

Whats the point for telling the whole truth, i dont see any one will benefits from there, as i said, unless he or she asked for it. I am now talking about the interaction between people, not matters that deal with money, business etc etc and the list goes on and on, i am not. By telling the whole truth, you might make a simple thing turns into a complicated one. Its so simple from the beginning but you might just ruined things.

By telling the "truth", someone might just formed certain. expectation from you. They will set higher target and they thought you can fullfill his or her dream, who knows? So dont let people fomred high expectation from you, thats what i always believe, surprise always bring better results. :) But bare in mind, i am not asking you to tell lies, that is a no no. But truth as in selectively. So, how far do you agree on this, please comment.

Let the time speaks

Time can prove everything, just let it be.

I hate one of my primary teacher very much last time, she scolded me in front of my classmates, use the bamboo stick to cane me, twist my ears, throwed my exercise books, damn, i hate her so much that time. The essay that we hand up, if you din put either a comma at the end of the sentence, you need to redo again, copy the whole essay again in the same exercise book. Although i am not the only one facing this, but i just felt like everyone is looking at me. Lucky, i am the more open-minded kind, it din really affect my self-esteem, just that she boost up my rebelious energy to fight with her. Notto do the work that she gave, but i dare not to fail her test because you will bash up by your parents.

She will punish the students that are late for class, either she will cane you or asked you to do something to satisfy her. If you speak in the class, she will just ask you stand up, if she heard your voice again, you will stand on the chair, the worst thing, you will be standing on the table... Luckily, i am on up to the second level. It happened because i talked again after she asked me to stand on the floor. Dont know why, i feel that she lacked of love from her boyfriend or something like that because she is not married yet at her age. Or if it happened in the last period of the class, you will be penalised, you can only leave the class after everyone left the class, but most of the time, more then 10 students will be "delayed" by her. So, i just think that that was kinda fun, at least, you got someone to stand with you.

Among the students, we always talked bad about her, we called her bad names such as , LOU KU PO(old virgin, we dont really know the meanign that time because we learned it from TV program), Sei 8 Po and things like that. I think she knew it too just that she din say anything. Still remember, thats the last day for our school, i am standard 2-3 , i forget the exact one. But i did something real bad at the time.

I throwed away the duster, i broke the broom into half, i used the liquid paper that i got from home and vandalise her table(the table in her class) and i messed up the class. Its the last day of school, BUT too BAD at that time, the class rep complained to the teacher, she called me and surprisingly, she din scold me, she said, " i know you dont like me but you dont have to mess up the class, its a hard work from you classmate to get the first prize everyweek for the cleanliness of the class, its very childish to do that ". I am freak out by her action because i tot she will just scold me and i will not give her a damn and just run away because tis the last day. Who knows......and this give me a lesson.

Anyway, i would like to say thank you to this teacher because she taught me a lot of things, do things need to be responsible, must noticed even thought the small tiny little things like comma( altho i foeget sometimes, still). really thanks you and i appreciated. Something the teachers that are willing to scold you are better then those that just keep quiet and just walked off after classes.

Time can prove all the things, heal the wound etc etc.

When she walks away, he dies again, when she comes back, he's alive again. He so tired again, but things will remain the same, she is the only onehe loves. Will he ever love again? He tried, but she still the only love he known. She's never hise, she's always away from him, but she's the love that brought him to the edge. She the love, his doubts were all cleared when she is with him, she killed of all the loneliness when she is with hime, but she's never his.

Will he ever love again, he tried, the feelings were not the same, she can never be subsided. But he will try to forget she if she can be loved by someone. He always feel the same when she is gone, when she went back to someone's. He is sick and tired of waiting, he is soffocating.

Will he ever be love again?

GOD

GOD bless you, GOD give us the free will, GOD give us the power, get yourself nearer to GOD, accept GOD so that he can show you the way....oh, my GOD

Really, religion is a believe. Is a Believe to get us back on track, is a guideline for us.

However, not that i go against these things, just that, its not convincing enough. Pray hard, thats the thing that i heard quite often, but whats the use without action? Staying there and PRAY , your wish will come true? Your love one will love you more, GOD will wipe away your tears? HEY, NO WAY. IF you believe that , you must take action by yourself, to make it come true. Theres NO use for you to keep on praying, just praying, keep praying and the things you wish, the thing you want, will go to your way.

No one can give you anything, unless you try it out. You wait for him to compile you both, no way, you GOT TO DO IT THAT BY yourself, its so clear that you are the one not accepting him, but you are trying to push this responsibility by saying wait untill "we both" are compatible. Please, if you dont like him, DONT waste his time vby giving him the the damn hope. Finish it off before he is closer to the edge of falling. Pull him back before its too late. No, dont give him any chance because time will heal the wound. How long you pulled him for this relationship? 1 years, 2 years? Gosh, let him go. GOD WILL not want this to happen.

If the guy is trying to be with you by putting away his pride and humble, the relationship will not last long, unless he is as faithful as you. But can he be like that? Will he be happy for the rest of his life after he found out that you are the one that make this happened. For only praying and the faith will happened? Gosh, i dun believe in that unless you, yourself make it happen, let it happen.

The things that you said contradicted. Please, leave him alone.

Its 21st century now, and please, be open minded. Its a believe but its not a thing that affect your own decision.

Patrotism!

Ok, altho i din hang up the national flag during some big days like the independant day, but it doenst mean that i dun like the MY COUNTRY(heard that the culture ministry?), altho i dun like my national car, but that doenst mean that i dun like my country(proton heard that, its 2005, improve yourself or else i cant buy cheap cars in the near future, i want my city now, i want to see more cars model), altho paying the highway shipment of money and bridges are not functioning by the way that they should(whats your response for that SAMI?), but that donest mean that i dun like my country just because of these reasons.

I love my country, like what i mentioned before. Why? because this is my root, i borned here, untill the day i die, i will still spill my heart for Malaysia. Why, because i love my country very much. I ate the rice that gronw in Malaysia(altho i am eating some Cambodia's one now), i breath in the air here in Malaysia, Pee and Poo here(joke a bit la), almost i did all my things here in Malaysia. Sometimes, i dun know why people still complain about this and that....duhz.

The gals and women in Malaysia are just wonderful, they are pretty, they are dress up modern"ly" but still conservative in their own way, altho you still can see some Ah Lian wearing some ball events dressing walking up and down in the Pasar Malam, but still, thats Malaysia, dun you think its wonderful? it wouldnt be Malaysia anymore if you can see this all around in your own country, Malaysia.

But hey, can you please stop complaining and you want to migrate to somewhere, Australia? Uncle Sam? England? Duhz, please do so because you are the only one thinking that the moon outside there is nicer, but please bar mind, theres always Pros and Cons. You can only see the good side because you are in a selective mode. You choosed to see the good side, but not the bad one. No i dun think its trendy for you to complained about Malaysia and you want to migrate, IF YES PLEASE DO SO, WHY R U STILL HERE? Is it because everyone is saying that, and thats why you followed? YAY? NAY? Come on, please make up your own mind, refuse to be a follower. Gosh, what you mom and dad teach you? Spoon feed a lot? If yes, then you should learn from that, gosh, you are a disgrace to all of us.....

I love Malaysia.

Drugs for me

Stay with me, you are the one that i need, just make the things easy, you are the drugs for me. Lay back, we will do this right tonight, its the time for a good show, kiss me with your cherry lipstick, i will never wash them off, leave me with the love you made, not stopping......your lips will go dry, but they are sweet inside, not stopping, no one will know us tonight.

Let it happen.

Fakeness

Friends? Why you need friends? Because you want to get to know them? Or because you want to help them? Because you just want to be freinds with them? Being unconditional? Well, i dun really believe in that although it happened sometimes, just that the chances are very very very slim. But why? because most of the time,i believe that when something benefits you, only the relationship forms. You will only know who are your real freinds when something happened, or when you both of you go through something.

Sounded realistic? Nay, thats the real thing, just that no one will to tell the truth when no one mention that. Sometimes, the one that you though is being real, but actually, he's not. Why you dont know, because he/she can really acts out. They can tell the lies that will never suspect them whether they were telling the truth or not. They can be so truthful, their facial expression, their tone, their body language... inexperience will believe in them because they were such a good actor.

Cant they just go straight forward to the point by saying, " NO?" Cant they just tell you the real reason why he/she refused to help? Is it really that hard to reject someone? Well, i do understand why this happened. When you rejected someone by no doing the object a favor, the someone will show you one kind of face, or the object will bug you for help, or the object will just remained quiet but when you turn your back away from the object, the object will say something bad behind you. But why do you want to care what others said? Is it really a big deal for you? Dont you think its worthless by letting these "judges" to affect your decision, to stopping you being the real self?dont you think these are the people that are useless because they dont even understand you. They tell that you are difficult, but, so are they. Cant you just dun give a fucking damn on that?

Well, thats human, its understandable, because human stay under one another shadows. People are so contradicting sometimes, they said this, but they act the other round. Some even treid so hard to become a philosopher by saying what others said, dont you heard familiar and similar speech and sentence all the time? They give you some long old mother story and turn a big round to reject you. But they still acting like they have done a huge favor for you even thou they did shit and made you will feel bad just to ask for help from them.

Well, i cant generalise things because there are still some true poeple in this world, and i salute you for that :).

relieve!

So, finish my exams, kinda relieve, the subjects that i dun worried did quite badly, and the other way round for the 2 other subjects that i worried, dun you think its weird? Gosh.

Anyway, i would like to thank a guy for spending time for me on these subjects, you know who you are ok if you ever read this :), thanks.

LETS PARTY!!!!!

爱与诚

爱与诚曲：曹雪芬@宇宙大爆炸 词：林夕 编：
其实自己一个更开心 只等你讲
其实大家早已嫌大家却扮忙
恨有多一点碰撞
仍然无聊事干不敢打搅对方
要是你愿意 诚实讲一趟
彼此都起码觉得释放
不要哭 我也忍得了这些年来的委曲
没法真心爱下去 只好真心真意的结束

* 别再做情人 做只猫做只狗 不做情人 做只宠物至少可爱迷人
和你不瞅不睬 最终只会成为敌人
沦为旧朋友 是否又称心
没有心 只像闲人 若有空
难道有空可接吻 注定似过路人陌生 你怎么手震 (这预告 发自虔诚内心) *

长期被迫恋爱也真比 失恋更惨
长期扮演若无其事般 更困难
是我专登反应慢 明明为时甚晚
牌一早该要摊 再像我伴侣
仍望多一眼 一生都将会记得今晚
Repeat *

对不起 自动分手错愕的你怕会伤感
盲目的我 现在也可转台来贺你新生
别再做情人 做只猫做只狗 不做情人
做只宠物至少可爱迷人
和你相交不浅无谓明日会被你憎
沦为旧朋友 是否又称心 没有心
只像闲人 若有空 难道有空可接吻
注定似过路人陌生 你怎么手震

1-1-2005

BBQ with family. 11 pieces of chicken meat, drumstick,tie and wings. Gosh, thats a lot man, just kinda boring so i ate a lot. Planned to visit Xaviz for some Vodka and Martini but i din go in the end because dad doesnt allow me to join them, so, sitting outside bbq-ing alone,my counsins were kinda noisy but i didnt scold them. So pieces by pieces and my stomach ended up with 11 pieces of chicken, some hotdogs, and some drinks. Kinda full, as predicted, my cholestrol and weight increase rapidly yesterday. Not to forget my pimples...gosh, it was huge.

Kinda boring, because its exam. It ruined my day, dont you just hate it when everyone is celebrating and you need to study just because of exams....and the holidays for us only last for 2 weeks, thats superb short man.


Ok, time for dinner. Going out.

HAPPY NEW YEAR Girls and guys.

Time after time.

So, things din work out for me. Anyway, its not sad thou, at least its a new beginning for me. Exams soon, goona work for it edi after some entertainment. So, at least i take a short to get over it. I might be a good thing as well at least our thinking was were kinda different. a bit contradicting right, nay, dun worry.

So mk got a new bf she said, feel good for her. HAha, congrats yeah, dun forget to treat us dinner one day.

am going for kung fu hastle later on, someone told me that he want to intro some gals to me because he said that i am wayyyyyyyy to good to handle them, as in female specimen, damn it. But anyway, i will still go because they bought my tickets.

no, yes, no , yes, time is passing by me again . its the end of the semester soon, kinda fast thou dun you think so? I left one subject for my transfer to UQ, hope to go over there real soon after sometime of working in dad's company, to get some extra cash for myself. No i am no going to spend them all thsi time. no, i am not, i will syve a portion of them for myself, Yes, myself, to buy me a present, i am ot treating myself well these days by not giving some positive reinforcement for myself, yes, anything, maybe a mp3 player this time depends on the money that i got.

ok, time for the end, everybody take care.