Sleepless Night

How many hours i spent on bed these few days? Man, i guess i could use my fingers and count them all. Yea, this is the worst paper that i can take, just because i hate to apply formulas on my financial management. So to not repeat the subject again, i forced myself to do all the question, although i am still far away for the coming exam on monday. Yes, freaking monday.

I've been busy, i slept at 5am today and i got to wake up at 8.30am to fetch my brother to work. My dad sent his own car to the workshop because he went Sabah again. One car 'forever' in the workshop and left the old Honda. I fetched him because i got LAN class at 12. Man, i don't really like the class, well, it's not boring at all, but i just don't agreed on her values, her theories at all. What kinda feminist theory. Not trying to criticise her, but her's sucks big. Usually it is my day when my dad went overseas because i don't have to care for the time for being late back home. I don't know, he never stopped me before, i reached home at 4.30, he said nothing, 5am in the moring he said nothing also. But why i just reached home early when he was around but i just stay up till so late if he is not around?

Well, a lot of things went through my mind as well. The feeling is just not good, am i wrong to get myself in all this shits? Or it is not worth to wait for the things that you will regret if you let go? Fuck, hey no way, no letting go. A friend of mine told me that i will know the worth if i can get.

I gave myself some time actually, i've tested myself, if...i do not think of her when i am busy, then i think i should let go, but when i am busy, i still feel the urge to want her, see her. Well, it even get stronger at times so i think i am really into "this". Why its is because if i am free and i got nothing to do, i might just want to get involved in 'this' for my pass time, but hell no, its not. I am know what i am doing, but...ARG, its undescriable. : )