I cant get away, but i am trying.

You are deep inside of me,
You changed my life so it seems,
I never felt alone untill i met you,
Some friends said that i've chnaged,
I am alright on my own,
Untill i met you,
Did i lost myself?
i dont know, but
You are deep inside of me.

I am wondering, how i got here,
Causes it seems somehow i am stuck in the mire
i needed this more then i know....
i'm gonna live forever(i might)
I am so damn clever(maybe la)
But there's a demon in my head started playing around(you)
but i know myself
i will still hold my breath
UNTILL IT'S MROE THEN I CAN TAKE....or i can bare
I write everything down except what's on my mind(yeah, right)
really i try to keep myself awake,
but still
i am drowing for of you,
Know whats my greatest fear?
Is you, and i am afraid that i will never get back out,
can you wake me up?
Please, bang my head, and let me wake up.
Thanks a lot.

I go crazy when i walk into your room,
Phone calls ring, and your voice is desire,
even with just some messages or text,
the clock is bleeding just because of me,
But watever it takes,
watever it happens,
Is it time to let you go?
Time for me to back off?
Am i better off without you(i dont know)?
Now, i can feel the changing weather
while alone along that sideroad
i am being told by the wind and the ghost,
is time to let go
to continue your own journey,
to look for some others,
i am getting over.

But when i am getting through the doors,
if i see your face once more,
and when you bloomed like a rose,
you will know that i cant ignore(yeah, i cant)
I want it so hard but, i cant break thru
Why cant i get the chemicals in?
Why?
The city is dying(at least for me)
i wont be happy without you around, and you know that.


ahhhhhh, too much too much.

Vindicated(DC)

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so wel
lI am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clearLike the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that
So turnUp the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

Manchester United

Finally, it was a cheer for us, Man Utd Fans., me as well. It was so long ago that this team cheer me up. Been down for a few days, well, i wont tell you the reason of course :). The first spot kick, scored by Nistelrooy, one of my favorite star and the second scored by Wayne Rooney(soon to become my favorite star as well). well, from here, you can know that i am not an Arseanal suppoter in every ways, the reason is simple, because i dun like them and i like Man Utd. I want to thanks Man Utd for ending ARsene wenger 49 unbeaten record, thanks for the goals, that make me real excited, and last but not least, to cheer me up. YES.

congrats to Man Utd fans out there,Glory glory man utd, glory glory man utd. Keep on marching.

Today someone really got my nerves, he was so damn rude, i nearly give a punch on his face. I went to ADP today to met up some friends and just by the time i wanted to walk down the stairs, i saw this buffulo, so i decided to say "heiooi". He shouted at me(which really pissed me off) with 2 words "sorchai", nvd, i can tahan, for the second time after i din bother what he said, he kicked my leg. My face turn really bad and i asked something. Luckily, someone stopped me. Well, damn i am like what the....i said hi to you and you talk to me like this, being so rude and kicked me someone(alto i think he was notdoing that purposely, but still, you talk to people like that?come on, how old r u 21? 22?).
the punch was nearly nearly close.

Anyway....cheers for man utd fans.

Control!!

Well well well, went for a jog, but, how come i still feel the same? Nothing's chnage, is it because of the results still affecting me? Or she is still the major reason? well, i think she is the one. Mood swing never happen to me b4, but its happening recently, seriously i think is because of her.

Well, 3 more weeks to go for my midterm, i must do well. I want things ot be in my control because thats the thing i want to achieve. Uncertainty just doenst make me feel good about it.This is a promise to myself, but this time i hope the effort that i put into will not be a waste, cuz i dun feel good with that, is not because i am afraid to lose, just that i dun like the kind of feelings, cuz i dun enjoy it. But well, we shall see what will happen.

Appeal!!

Damn, wat the, i got my result for MGT, expected to be a distinction, now, it was only a pass, damn "fan". But what to do, i dont know whats happening, been putting all my effort on this subject, wats wrong with it, whats wrong with me, all the things were like came all in once. I got to appeal, a must. But what the heck, a distinction and now can only get a pass? Seriously la, i am damn fucking stress, i am not motivated....but still i still got no move on. Yes? NO?But....why me?


I will try my best to fight for it, 2 cans on Heineken, 2 shots of vodka, there arent working for me, i dont know why? Am i immune to these alcohol? I guess not. Now alcoholic drinks are getting more and more expensive, so, i should spend less....especially i got a lot of events to work on and to entertain people. Haih

But i must thank you all, especially those people that are willing to listen to me and give me advice, i seriously appreicate you all, and glad to have friends like you all. :) I am sincere on this :) Thanks. And you know who you are :)

And for those that pretend listened to me, i thank you for putting effort on that, i know i am boring at times, i appreciate your BURNING DISIRE for that. But i still hope you can tell me , i dun want to listen next time, cuz you are fake :).

Oooooo.....online audio with jia disconnected...well, i will wait for a while.

Ending the begining with an end

How far i can really go,
with no motives i am writting this,
But i know the problem could be a pose,
group of posse asked to try only you will know

i am confuse so i end up writting,
skecting this without thinking,
yet my emotion keep on tugging,
without beautiful ending i keep on going

whats happening is because of you,
dreams or memories i dont know,
true or false,
wrong or right,
the only can go through you,
wat done is done.

Whats in my mine is all here
just ending the beginning with an end
what i just want to say for the end of the beggining,
no one in this planet,
can make me half the person when i am with you

I DONT KNOW

I Dont know what will happened in the future,

Love is the only word that can describe my feelings to you
Only you can save me out of this beautiful flaw,
Vegetate myself, when you are not around,
Epic story, i hope that both of us were in.

You are the one that i need,
Objection from others cannot stop me from loving you,
Uncertainty will only make me more thirsty.

Haih

Seriously la, i dun know why recently i got no mood to do things , haih, is it because after i worked hard fo something and i cannot get the pay back so i am like this? maybe yes, mybe no. We shall see how la.

What About Today?

it's getting hard for me, but nobody knows, why because they cant see, i am getting tired after i saw that, i got nothign to say seriously, what about today and whats going on me??? I tot at least i can see myself this time around, my way this time, but but but, is just a joke for me. Sometimes you might not get what you want even you work damn fucking hard on it? HAHA.

So, next time dun set those fucking high targets for yourself to achieve, other wise they harder you will drop, who will hold you, no one. Why because they know even know you. Is just fucking disappointed!!, HUlala. Damn it.

HELP IDOL

Might organise this because of suggestions from friends. Heard it from friends today, so i wan tto give myself a last green lights for huge events before i leave HELP to UQ, been rotting ever since i quit S.A.D,wat the fuck is the big honor for being a vice-president but not contributing, this is another chnace for you, alto not really a successful one but still, i gained experience from there, hope i can make a really nice show for myself this time around. You must know how to handle those problems this time, dun leave it to untill very last minute, communicate well, dun take things from granted, always ask if you dun know or dun understand on the things that people assigned to you. Good, atleast, you know whats the problem with yourself.

It might just be a suggestion, but still, i want to give it a try, with my 200% power. I am on now, so propably....i can do well. With all the fucking thinking, lazyness is not with me now, i must do for good show, not for others, but for ....myself, to feel the proudness that have been long lost in my adolesense stage. It's not so much about the ending, but where it brings me to. I want to feel proud again, YES.

Yong jia, you might stay for another 2 semester excluding this semester, so...go for it. Be yuorself, at least you r doing good with this now, yeah, be yourself, who the fuck cares what other thinks right? yeah? Definitely correct. You are strong, always good on handling pressure, so why not, just make it for this.

Oooo00000o0o0, study time, on, chat time, oh, utopia time(thanks for everything, nivel, yeah?). all the best to yourself, oh yeah, to everyone who read very untill the end, thanks for the patients.

Lalalalala!!!

Choices i am not given, for missing souls out there yeah, by loving you, i still need you not matter what. This is promise you. and these are the things i had to say. I will stand up for the challenge.

What what yeah huh ?

well, i am not saying anything out doesnt mean that i dun like, erm, love you anymore.

I still, yeah, need you in my life, with tons of stuff not post out here because it is not the right time, but i will still wait, because, you worth all that.

i dun know whats happening, i am not complaining, i am not in all those sad and depress mood, i dun know why, one reason for that, i used to it. Nothing seems to work out right, seriously, but hope THINGS WILL GO MY WAY.

is it because i dun have the courage to tell her my feelings? Thats why i am so stuck? YEah? Or because it is not at the right time, i am sick of listening to this, yeah, wait, wait, i am sick of it, seriously. Ohh, the results came out today, pissed of again, work hard for it, but, shit returned to you, wat the ...... Is it meant to be? LOL....

oh yeah, alto you said we are like buddy, but i dun think i wan tot be in the buddy stage, not that seriously, yuo scared me of with your good friend thing and buddy thing, I JUSY DUN WANT TO BE YOUR BUDDY, wat the fuck, dun tell me to think about it, cuz i will risk this friendship for THE ONE UPPEER stage, i will risk it, no one can make me half the person when i am with you, seriously, like what one of my friend said in his blog. No you are not torturing me, you are not abusing me in anyways, whether mentally or physically, tired will not be the word because i love you. I will not deny that, i will not say that i am tired by loving you. willl not......

Patient is Gold!

Well, start of the semester, 3rd weeks, tutorials all started, kinda busy with all the work, especially i am taking accounting one and business statistic, as you people know i suck big in maths, most of the time i am doing my maths stuff(well, some of the time might be a better word). Haha, especially i sethigh target this semester after i think i met all my requirement last semester, alto the results werent out yet. So i am still kinda nervous, but i think humans need to set high(but reasonable targets) for themsevles to achieve more right?

Furthermore, i am not young, not 18, 19, i am 20, so got to do something to satisfy myself. Of course with all these possible targets. Worth it i think, somemore i am not in the mood for blogging after balik from Taman Negara, but it was fun thou, lol, with all the hawaiian dance, i stripped and with all the half coconuts in front of my chest. Whoops, to be continued.

HuLaLa, trees, river. Nusa Camp.

Well, first ever trip to Tmn Negara, it was a good one. I met new friends, see different kinda personalities, oh ya, discovered what gals think about their relationship, alto i cannot generalise, but they scared me on their thinking, maybe they were the more modern one, but i dun think i can accpet those kinda thinkings. With husband, you can still go out with guys? And stay in their room somemore? Well, maybe you aint doing anything, but....haha, you cant stop others thinking.

Reached there at 0400, woke up by friends, the sky is still dark at that time, i was damn hungry but still, got to wait untill 0700 for the stores there to open. " makcik, ada apa makan"?, replied by the makcik with "nasi lemak". So i decided to order nasi lemak, tambah nasi, tambah telur dan tambah ayam. Unfortunately, i can only tambah nasi because they were lack of eggs, and no chicken. well, anyway, i still managed to sapu 2 plates of rice(and the sambah, fuyooh, damn f**king hot).

0830, we went to the jeti(so called jeti) for ferries(so called ferries) to reach Nusa CAMP (situated in the middle of the jungle). Was around 0900 that time, we put our stuff down and waited for a briefing. After all, i am stuff with 4 other guys name Ian, John, Andrew and Stanley in a shalley. They are all cool, just that Stanley is a bit quiet, so dun get to knwo him that well. Especialy when you were on the boat and surround by river, unclean river, and the stream at some place were damn fast, its quite scaring atually but well, but not for me mind you.

Well,nothing much actually, disappoiinted bout the water rafting, but well, splasing river was one of the highlights for the trip. Splasing those unclean water to some unknown people, it was damn fun. we were all wei, but hey, thats a god experience.

We went to a orang asli village, they showed us how to make fire with bomboo(dry sial bamboo), how the use the long stick thingie to hunt(well, i dun know the name for that).

Also, spying some idiots at night, a friend of mine called John shouted with the "police, police....." and knocked on the door hard and loud, that was the fun part. well, ask someone esle, you cant imagine that seriusly, thats why for th epeople out there that missed this trip, what i can say is, " padan muka".

you can also see some "siu jie" acting in a damn siu jie ways, the way they talk, the way the speak and the way the socialize, damn, kids. They tot they know a lot but they know shit. LOL. Well, at least they still can dance in the bus and got wetat the water fall, with those lovely dovey nice panties, that was cool. 0-O.

lets not forget the hawaiian dance, i am half naked, with the half coconut tied(like wearign a bra) in front of your chest, quite embarasse firstly, but then....just that i dunno how to do some sexy wild wet dance. Gosh...wish i can do that in the future.

overall the trip was awesome, just that, a bit cacat, the gal cannot go because she need to catch up her studies after a trip to somewhere else. ohya, the foods there sucks, imagine chicken curry were cook with maggi mee seasonal corry flavor, LOL, thats the killer.

if i got time to do all those stupid and time wasting stuff, i will upload the pictures for my buddies out there. :)